Missing Pieces
by Crystalkei
Summary: Rayne, post BDM, stand alone that can fit into my 'verse anywhere after right time. It's a bit angsty. It isn't beta'd, so feel free to point out any glaring grammatical errors. I tried my best.  D


None of these folks belong to me, or else they would still be around, every week on tv, right after veronica mars.

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When Jayne walked into the infirmary Simon was rummaging through a cabinet looking for something.

"I know it's here somewhere," Simon mumbled.

"Missin' something, Doc," Jayne asked.

"Nothing I need your help for," the doctor sniped. "Aha! Kaylee," he hollered. "I found it!"

Kaylee walked into the infirmary carrying Fuss in the sling, River trailing behind her, sweating from sparring with Jayne. Both women perched themselves on the counter.

"Did you need a hormone shot, too?" Kaylee asked Jayne with a smile.

"Wha?" Jayne asked. "I was just lookin' for some tape, bashed my knuckles in while River and I were workin' out. Why do ya need a hormone shot, Kaylee, you sick?"

"Not yet," Kaylee laughed. "And I don't plan on bein' sick for a while. Simon's getting me fixed up so we don't have us another little Fuss anytime soon."

"Oh, hey that ain't a bad idea," Jayne agreed. "Doc, you got one of them shots for River, ya know don't want to be knockin' her up anytime soon."

River stilled and Simon tensed. Jayne assumed it was because he was talking about having relations with the Doc's sister. That topic usually brought some fightin' words from Simon. Instead though, Simon looked sadly at River who was staring intently at her feet.

"It's not really necessary," Simon stated.

"What do you mean?" Jayne asked confused. "You don't think my guys can swim? 'Cause I might be older than her but I ain't, ya know, I still got 'em."

Another look from Simon to River. Jayne felt better knowing Kaylee looked as confused as he did. River's eyes finally met Simon's and she nodded her head.

"River can explain," Simon said. "It's not really my place."

"What the gorram is goin' on 'tween you two?" Jayne prodded. "Ya got something to tell me, little witch?"

River looked up at Jayne for the first time since the uncomfortable conversation started. He noticed the tears that had formed in her eyes and it gave him an unsettling feeling. She jumped off the counter and nodded again at Simon, then she left the infirmary.

"River?" Jayne called after her. He started to follow, but Simon stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Kaylee," Simon started. "Will you go check on River? I need to talk to Jayne." She nodded and headed out. "She doesn't need a hormone shot, ever." Simon told Jayne.

"Doc," Jayne said, flummoxed and a bit irritated. "I don't know what the hell is goin' on. Why'd your sister run outta here like I killed her dog?"

"If you could shut up a minute," Simon replied just as irritated as Jayne. "I would explain it!"

Jayne's first thought was to intimidate the doctor, re-establish himself as the alpha male in the room, but something started to jiggle in his brain like he was beginning to cotton on to the issue at hand. So, he backed down and gave Simon his best listening face.

"Remember on Ariel?" Simon explained steadily. Jayne shivered at the mention of Ariel but nodded his head. "I told you at the Academy they cut into River's brain, over and over again."

Jayne shook his head in disgust; he didn't like to think about what they did to her there. If he ever saw one of those 'blue hands' River dreamed about, he had all manner of great ways to kill 'em.

"When I first got River out," Simon continued, his doctor façade was cracking. "When she first came out of stasis, on the ship, I gave her a full physical, to see what they had done to her. I noticed some hairline scars on her body, they are nearly invisible."

Jayne thought on the scar she had right below her belly button, right above one of his favorite parts of the girl. Simon was right. He wouldn't have noticed it, if he hadn't spent so much time exploring that area.

"Jayne," Simon whispered, and his voice was shaking. "She won't need a hormone shot because they removed her ovaries. She can't have children."

Even though Jayne had started to put the pieces together it still tightened his chest to hear the words from Simon. He didn't ever think on himself as a Pa, but it didn't make him feel good knowing he wasn't ever gonna be. Not as if River was the only girl in the 'verse, but Jayne knew for pretty sure he wasn't getting rid of her anytime soon. Maybe never.

"Right, uh," Jayne spoke, now unsteady himself. "Thanks for tellin' me, and for doin' it so River didn't have to. Woulda' been hard for her." Jayne tried to brush it off. "Ya got some tape for my hand?"

"Yes," Simon told him and grabbed the tape to wrap Jayne's hand.

Jayne walked back into the cargo bay and over to his weights. If he could work hard enough, he could forget what he heard from Simon. He could forget the look on River's face.

Pumping the weights worked for a few minutes, but then his mind was flooded with pain. River's pain: knowing that those hundans had taken everything from her, her sanity, her old life, and her future. Jayne shook his head. They didn't take her future. She was alive, Simon had seen to that. She was less crazy then before, Miranda helped with that. And Jayne was her future. He didn't need her to know how he was hurt by her not being able to have babies, never really thought of hisself that way anyhow. Maybe it bothered him a little, but he could move past it. He needed to be with her, let her know he didn't love her any less.

Grabbing his towel, he headed toward his bunk. He stopped short when he saw Kaylee coming out of his bunk.

"Oh!" Kaylee jumped. "Jayne, you can't sneak up on a girl."

"S'my bunk," Jayne remarked. "Didn't expect to see me comin' back to it?"

"No, of course, not," Kaylee said. "She's calmed down a bit. After a bit of her gibberish, I figured out what the problem was," she looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry, Jayne. I, uh, well, right. You probably want to see her, so, imma go." She tried to smile, but it wasn't a real Kaylee smile, too much pity in it.

Jayne watched her walk away; he was hesitant to go down. Steeling his resolve he grabbed the ladder.

River lay on their bed, under the covers, so still he wondered if she had fallen asleep. Putting down his towel on the chair, he sat next to her on the bed. He reached up and brushed a strand of hair off her face. She rolled over and looked at him, her eyes still held tears.

"Whatcha' cryin' for little witch?" Jayne asked, knowing the answer.

"The girl is broken," River spoke. "Not worth having, pieces missing, all of Simon's horses and all of his men, couldn't put River back together again."

Jayne pulled her into his lap, her head against his chest. She fit like she was made for him. 'Two sides of the same coin,' River had told him once.

"We covered this before," Jayne told her. "You ain't broken, and I like ya crazy, if you were all there, you wouldn't be with me," he laughed at his own joke.

"You knew about my head," River said. "Didn't know other pieces were missing, false advertising, not a whole girl, just parts."

"Only thing that matters to me," Jayne told her. "Is that you are safe, and happy, and still able to kick my ass."

"Liar," River whispered.

"You ain't trickin' me like that girl," Jayne said. "You ain't pokin' and I ain't lyin'."

Jayne lifted her chin from his chest and concentrated all his energy on her. He mentally collected all his love and desire for her.

"Poke," he demanded. "Go ahead, poke, see what's there."

Jayne had never intentionally given himself over to her like this, he wasn't even sure if she would understand. He just wanted her to know he loved her and he didn't have any fancy words to tell her, he wasn't good with feelings.

The hesitant look on her face told him she wasn't sure about the idea. Jayne was going to have to convince her.

"I want you to poke," he encouraged. "Ya know you ain't gonna have many chances at this, so go ahead, look around."

River held his stare for a moment, then closed her eyes. Almost immediately, he noticed tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. This was not the outcome he was hoping for.

"I didn't mean for you to cry more," Jayne whispered.

"Tears of joy," River replied. "Feel more than Simon for Kaylee, more than Cap't for Inara."

Understanding her, he answered, "nah, I'm sure they love them women, just like I love you, you just don't get it full on like I'm doin' right now."

She didn't open her eyes; she smiled and found his lips. Kissing her felt warm and smooth.

Jayne figured if he could kiss her till his dying day, he didn't need no kids to love. He could be Uncle Jayne, or maybe, later on in life, they could find them a kid to adopt, make their own. As long as he could kiss her, he didn't have any complaints.


End file.
